My experience with mental health struggles

Did you know May is also Mental Health Awareness Month? I haven’t talked about it a lot on my blog but I have learned it is ok to not be ok all the time. I wrote a blog post a long time ago talking about when I first got diagnosed. (You can read it here https://abbyhershberger.blog/2017/07/18/depression/).

I still remember vividly my 1st appointment with Dr. Gota sitting in the office filling out all the paperwork and when she came in and told me I was moderately to severely depressed. I looked at Mom and said I am not depressed. I was in complete denial. Afterwards, I was put on some medication and looking back I knew I was depressed. Fast forward to now, I am in such a good place right now. That feels weird to say because so much of my life isn’t great, living with chronic illnesses and missing dad. I truly feel like I am in a good place and I feel happy again. I have loved this new part of my blogging for me and connecting with new people which makes this community all the better.

I went to my PCP earlier in May. Every time I go I have to fill out the depression score chart. I am all the way down to 9 right now! (The “higher” score right now is also coming from insomnia and focus. So I’m sure without a chronic illness causing those it would be even lower. I will tell you it feels so good to be that low! I was at 13 I think at one point. My medicines are pretty much all figured out for depression right now. When I got on anxiety meds that also helped me a lot . I understand depression is sort of out of my control in a sense. I didn’t cause it. My body and brain chemicals are causing this so there is medication to help me. I have put a lot of hard work into getting into a happier headspace for me. Saying “goodbye” to a few dreams has helped me a lot, as I am not constantly getting drug down by the things I can’t do. I also know that sometimes I will have a bad day here and there and that is ok. I know if I have several bad days in my row to contact my doctor or talk to my friends or family. Blogging has been a huge help for me in the sense of getting things written down and releasing them. I tell myself several times a day “Let go and let God”. If you are in a rough place right now reach out to me, or a friend, or a family member. Schedule a doctor appointment or reach out to a therapist. It is OKAY! Getting to this point has taken me 3 years. I can say with confidence that moving into the new house has had a lot to do with my depression getting better. We get a lot of natural light in the house. I also am able to go outside whenever I want since it’s accessible. This community is so safe and friendly. I am so thankful for everything this house has provided.

Talking about my progress with anxiety – well there isn’t really any. I’m not sure if I ever will get to a better place. I struggle with guilt daily of what my chronic illness does to other people. I used to get nervous at times in my life, I mean we all do, but last year I noticed I couldn’t recover from my nerves. We found the right medication and the right dosage. It has helped so much! I usually take 3 a day. 1 in the morning and 2 right before bed. Sometimes I have to take one in the afternoon. Usually when I have a doctor appointment or I am meeting with a new doctor I get so nervous that I can’t calm down and I just feel sick. This has helped me cope with doctor appointments a lot. I want to make it known anxiety pills can be tricky because people can become very addicted to them because they make you “calm”. I really listen to my body and I am pretty good at knowing when I truly need it and when I don’t.

*This is NOT medical advice I am NOT a doctor I am just sharing my experience and what works*

Just to recap:

It is okay to not be okay all the time every day

If you don’t feel ok for several days reach out to someone

Having a mental illness is okay it doesn’t make you weird or different.

xoxo,

Abby

“Be still and let go and let God.” -Psalm 46:10

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Also check out Pura Vida’s collection! They have some different ones to support! This is mental health awareness! They have anxiety, depression as well. Check it out! Here is the mental health awareness one! Use code ABBYHERSHBERGER20 for 20% off your entire purchase (excludes subscription services)

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